When you wake up every morning with the assured expectation of a terrible day, you tend to not concern yourself with things that are outside your general field of view. This is why I am a walking index of every TV show ever made, a master of every online game, and an amazing cook. I never got into learning anything useful though, so don’t think that I could blow the minds of scholars with my well played false genius. My mind can easily absorb every line of the TV show “Scrubs,” but I couldn’t find the interest to learn the first rule of calculus.
I was about 25 or so when my parents stopped trying to get me to slim down. They could see that every diet system out there made no difference. Even the month of nothing but oranges, which I strongly suggest you never try, made no impact on my weight. So, I was able to convince them to buy real ingredients for dinner from time to time. Since I’ve seen every cooking show ever filmed, I had some idea of how to prepare things. Eventually they figured out that I had one real contribution to the family, despite never once acknowledging my special talent. Of course, I never made it clear that I was willing to cook regularly. I wouldn’t want them to build any expectations.
So about three times a month I would get to prepare something elaborate for dinner. Indonesian spare ribs were my favorite, despite it being a recipe for chicken originally. It only cost about $9 for all three of us, even with the garlic mashed potatoes and lightly seasoned medley of steamed vegetables. I preferred grape juice with my meals since I couldn’t have any liquor. I’m not even sure I’d like liquor with meals. Never really understood that concept.